The Bomb of Addiction goes off - in another family member or at your work environment in a friend or in a spouse or child or grandchild - it's happening everywhere today, America - now what do you do?
It's as common today as "apple pie" friends. It's a serious problem today. And this is a common question many are left asking themselves this very afternoon, too, I promise. You should know, too, that most (who choose to) deal with it do so ineffectively, inappropriately, ignorantly (though not intentionally), and often, alone...at first. Too bad. It would be much better to deal with this pandemic today in the most effective way possible - instead. So, we provide to you this list of "what to do" when you find out you actually do have an addict in your midst.
When this occurs, and it WILL occur in the life you life at some point, somewhere, here are the things you should
DO FIRST:
1. Don't Panic. "Just Stand Still"...for a moment. This is still a valuable person; they're just (real) sick! It's not a simple illness, either...but there IS proper treatment for it...if you'll just "follow instructions" in handling it. Do you have any other choice, really?
2. Catch Your Breath. You can't do anything if you're "blown away" (for long). Get a Grip - Quick! You have real work to do here, but it's not going to be like you think it is, we promise. This problem is NOT handled like nearly 100% of those affected by it think it is!
3. Get away from the Addict's Bad Behaviors - if the Addict is "in your face" and creating more Confusion (that you can't think through), do yourself and your family a favor - get some space between you. "First Things First" as they say.
4. Stop Listening to all the BS the Addict is shoving your way. In other words, "what they say" cannot be believed...so don't. Sad to say, but "your addict" (at present) is not the person you (first knew, nor) should (they) be listened/ing to at all during this "Identification" phase of beginning to get the right care, esp. as to your accurate determination of "what's really going on" or about to happen or even "what to do" about this bad situation.
5. Start making notations of things like "past events," "happenings," (especially surrounding things you were told that you now know were not true - explained away by "your addict" - when you were believing everything they said, unfortunately)...as you look back, reconstruct "what actually did happen" now that you can relieve yourself of having to believe what "your addict" actually told you, concerning things... Use your gut and instincts (you know, the ones that told you something was wrong & probably told you "they're lying to me" deep down. Now, what was the TRUTH after "your addict's" story is let go as false? Do this, and the picture can become much clearer...if you let it.
6. Get Help. No, Get the Right Help - Only! This is not something you should expect you should "know how to handle" or "know what to do" all by yourself. You won't. This is the arena of major league manipulations in lying, deceit, dysfunction, coercion, bad behaviors, drugs & disasters! Anyone needs help in this type of mess! It's a tornado of drama and the damage is emotional - as bad as any "physical tornado" (and a lot worse, really, when considering all the collateral damage). WARNING: DO NOT "process this" with just anyone around you. Not many "can handle the truth" and everyone has an opinion - even if insane - today! What you need is "help" from, the one's that know and understand this "Addiction". Just go get the expert help that exists - most likely through someone you know who's been in this before? Or, you can get it yourself without anyone having to guide you there. Answer: Seek help from a Treatment Center "Interventionist" if you can...or a very "known addict in recovery"...either of whom can begin to guide you into the "real world" and out of "Alice and Wonderland"...where you've probably been living with "your addict".
7. Start Learning. Knowledge is Power & it is available to help you in this trap. There is a Reality to this situation that you have completely denied, we promise! The sooner you get it, the sooner you get better... You're not the first person to go through this, we promise! Seek that which is already known about it all; do not "reinvent the wheel" if you don't have to. You are going to have to make some hard decisions about the person you love, we promise. To do this, you will have to have "knowledge" that is based in "Truth" alone. If it's not true, you don't want it...but if it's true, you absolutely want it...no matter what that "truth" is. Seek and you shall find.
8. Know you're not alone in this situation. Even though it will seem like it (esp. if this involves your immediate familly and they're "sick" when it comes to emotional behaviors, etc.), you're not alone in this. Utilize the fact that "others have been there before you" and go get what they offer (everywhere) to help you. Start with Alanon. Go to a meeting in your local area. Read the texts they offer without fail. DO NOT TRY TO HANDLE THIS ON YOUR OWN. The "I can handle it's" have killed more addicts and their families than can be told!
9. Do NOT Isolate or hide this situation from (safe) others. Do not involve "unsafe" people in your troubles; they must be highly trustworthy to "process this" with them. No judgments. No opinions - unless they do know what they're talking about, in fact. Hiding this and "keeping secrets" does several things that will harm you and "your addict" beware! Hiding it prolongs the "secret" (which is no secret at all really - most people know what "your addict" is doing, but won't say), and "makes you and the addict sicker" (and can even allow their death and your insanity to occur as they go further down into the addiction spiral).
10. Get Real - Fast! Learn to "see the truth" instead of what you wish to see now. This takes "real" practice. As soon as you can get over the shock of what is the truth, here, and retain your sanity in the process - after facing up to the fact "it's not a tumor" but it definitely IS an "addiction"! Then, you must "get real" with this situation as fast as you possibly can. This ("strange reaction" appearing response to "what really is"...which will be addressed by some in your life, no doubt, out of ignorance as such) can save your family, and it can save the life of "your addict"...if they cooperate, that is...or possibly someone they might kill while "doing drugs" in "active addiction"! NOTHING will help you in avoiding the reality of this bad situation. Don't avoid it! Do not listen to ANYONE who tells you otherwise. Many well-meaning persons, professionals, friends, preachers, family members, etc., WILL TELL YOU to hide this situation at all costs. Coverups kill, remember we said this, in addictions! That "cost" will probably be your relationship with "your addict" - when you bury them! Moral of the Story: Those who haven't a clue what they're talking about ought to shut their yaps and allow you to get better help, quicker - by following the path of others who've made it out of this before you. Nothing else works.
11. Pain changes a Person. Expect this in yourself. You must look at what part in this you actually play, too. Believe it or not, "what don't kill you will make you stronger"! This is true, and you can look forward (if you're smart) to a "change" - in both yourself and in "your addict" - that is both needed and beneficial (if you make it through to the other side, that is)! Most who've gone this path say it was worth it in the end; they've learned things that nobody could have ever "taught them"! Imagine that. Education is costly, you bet, but the things we know that can be learned by this arduous process are absolutely invaluable to what comes next in this life, for you. We know - as we do "Interventions" day in and day out now - this work could never be done with just the "medical education" Doctors get in school. Nope, we had to "get this" by "getting real" just the way you are about to "get" - if you accept the challenge. It's not unlike the movie the Matrix from a few years back (go see it now), where the main star was given a choice: "Take the Red Pill or the Blue Pill...it's your choice." Now, go see the movie and see what this has to do with where you find yourself today. It's amazing how "truth" can allow you to be able to learn things about yourself and others that you were "clueless" entirely, before. So, don't avoid this intense life lesson, called "Addiction" - whether you are being placed "in it" or "around it" today. There is a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow...if you look for it.
12. Finally, Do No Expect to Stay the Same in Relation to "Addiction" or "your Addict". It won't happen - unless you reject reality now. It can't happen - unless you're insane and live in "what was" instead of "what is" now. Stop controlling the world around you in all this. Expect things to change now. Hey, they could be even better...soon.
